There is nothing like a brush with death to wake you up. In those moments, time seems to stand still. Your senses are heightened. Your heart is broken wide open. You slip into what seems to be an alternate reality which very well could be the doorway to an awakened life. In the aftermath of an encounter with death, each moment becomes more precious. The conversations are more meaningful. People take time to step off the treadmills of their busy lives, and to connect deeply with one another.
This past Lunar Eclipse on October 18th, I anticipated something altogether different. In my last newsletter, I even wrote about what the eclipse might reveal for me. I saw the Sun in Libra shining its light on my Mercury, the planet of communications right on the cusp of the fourth house which represents home and family in an astrological chart. The Full Moon was opposite in the bold, fiery sign of Aries, right on my Midheaven, the career point in a chart, and on the cusp of the tenth house which represents career and public image. Looking at those planets, I anticipated some big news around my writing, and what impact it might be having on my career. On the eve of the Lunar Eclipse, I even launched my first ever blog on the subject of the Saturn Return, a major astrological transit in everyone’s life that can represent a major turning point which also encompasses endings which lead to new beginnings.
On that evening before the Lunar Eclipse, I watched the planets line up, still wondering what the impact of the eclipse would be in my life. I had no idea that it would feel like a bomb went off, scattering all the pieces of my current reality. During the day, I received a message from one of my sisters that my Mom wasn’t feeling well. She had even gone to the hospital, and been sent home with no real diagnosis. I thought I would give my Mom a call to check on her in her home in New England. I was concerned, but not overly worried until I talked to her on the phone.
Her normally upbeat voice was shaky, and she sounded weak, and not altogether herself. I checked in with her on how she was feeling, and whether or not, she should go to the hospital again. She told me she would rather wait to see her own doctor. Her annual doctor’s appointment was the very, next day on Friday, October 18. She even had completed blood work ahead of time for her annual visit. My Mother had a great supportive relationship with her female doctor, and felt confident that she would receive some answers from her. Even in her distress, my Mother asked about me. I told her that I was doing fine, and that she didn’t need to worry about me. I told her that I loved her, and she told me the same. Those were my last words with my Mother. She never made it to the doctors the next day. Her soul had other plans in mind. Under the powerful Full Moon, the Lunar Eclipse, my Mother left her earthly body behind to join my Father, and her family on the other side.
I am so glad that I had those last words with her. Since then, I have gone through probably all the initial stages of grief including what could have been done differently. My two sisters who live back there were also in constant contact with her, and had the same concerns. They visited with her those last few days of her life, and helped her as much as they could. I truly believe that it was her higher purpose to leave through that gateway of the eclipse. We may have only prolonged her ending by insisting that she go back to the hospital. It was clearly her time to leave.
After my phone call that night with my Mother, I slept restlessly, tossing and turning. I even awoke in the morning with a vivid dream. In the dream, I was running towards my childhood home in Onset, Massachusetts where my Mother still lived. The sky went black, and a storm was moving in. My younger sister and I were running across the bridge to my Mother’s home. This past summer and fall, I was having “storm” dreams again, similar to when my Father had passed. I wondered if the dreams were showing me all the big changes on the planet. I also thought they might indicate the changes in my own extended family, but I didn’t think it would be my Mother who would be leaving.
After a period of mourning for my Father’s passing on 1/11/11, my Mother had begun to enjoy her life, and looked forward to trips with my sisters and outings with her newest grandchild, Jacob, who was only five. Just a couple of days before her passing, she had gone to Nantucket with my oldest sister. They had taken the ferry over from Cape Cod, and explored the island. Even though, she had lived her whole life in Massachusetts, she had never visited the island of Nantucket. I treasure that memory for her. Even at the end of her life, she was still having “new” adventures.
Those last few years with Jacob, her newly adopted grandson, were probably some of her most treasured times. In her phone calls, she would relay Jacob’s latest antics, and what Jacob had said or done that week. I enjoyed hearing the joy in her voice, knowing that Jacob was giving her a reason to go on living after my Father’s death. Jacob, my younger sister’s son, was bringing light to so many people’s lives especially my Mother’s life.
Now, as we approach another Full Moon, I find it hard to believe that it’s barely been a month since my Mother has passed. And yet, that’s what happens when death touches your life. It changes time, and you look at everything differently. Each meeting with a loved one in your life becomes more precious. I always had that feeling when I went back to visit my family on the east coast. Having lived in California for almost 16 years now, I treasured the time with my family especially as my parents got older. Now, they are both gone, and I am so grateful that I had that time with them.
If there’s one gift that my parents gave me, it was the gift of time. They always made time for their children. Even when we were young, my parents always enjoyed taking us places, and doing activities with us. When we were out with just our Father, other Dads would comment when they saw us altogether as if he had been “stuck” with the kids. In a time period, when most Dads were too busy working to spend time with their families, my Father always made the time, and even gave up activities that he may have enjoyed like playing golf to be with us.
With the passing of both parents, I am left with many special memories of all the trips, and activities that we shared together. I have no regrets with my parents, and that does help ease some of the pain. In time, I know the grieving won’t be so painful. In time, I will have all those memories to keep them alive in my heart forever. I have already had visits from my Dad in my nighttime dreams, and I have no doubt that I will be seeing my Mom as well when she’s ready for a visit.
The fall eclipse series turned out to be a great awakening for me, and I am already wondering what the next eclipse series in the spring will bring for all of us. And yet, it’s one moment at a time. I’ll leave you one thought: Make those last words with a loved one count. Sometimes, you know they are your last words, and sometimes, you don’t.
By Donna Fisher-Jackson, M.A. © 2013
Please feel free to copy this news article, and to share it with others for Free. I just ask that you keep my name at the bottom of the article, and include this line of text: Donna Fisher-Jackson, M.A., CHT is a Certified Hypnotherapist, Western Astrologer and Author who counsels clients through her business of Iris Holistic Counseling Services at www.DonnaFisherJackson.com. She has published the self-help book, The Healing Path of the Romantic: Type Four of the Enneagram Personality Type System and a novel, Clara & Irving: A Love Story of Past Lives, based on the true story of a Romantic. Both books are available in a print and Kindle edition on Amazon.com.